dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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