So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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