Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
