I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
The best revenge is premature balding
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
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