Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
