TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
