I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
