Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
