my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
