Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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