we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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