3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
