soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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