omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.