Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her

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(952): View more from Minnesota

True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.

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(714): View more from California

My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(202): View more from Washington, DC

I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast

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(315): View more from New York

i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake

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(740): View more from Ohio

If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.

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(970): View more from Colorado

You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.

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(219): View more from Indiana

He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude

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