Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
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Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
I love us.
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MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.