How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
