All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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