Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
