I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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