Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
