Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize