At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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