well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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