All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
