Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
