I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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