New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
