Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize