I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize