so explain again why im purple
no
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Randomize
