It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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