i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
