so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
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My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
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idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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