I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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