put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
