I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Did we literally take a cab across the street
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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