I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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