Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
