I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.