Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.

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  (508): awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation? (1-508): you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets. http://tfl.nu/hqfn
  Replies (97) Good night (40219) Bad night (1546)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg

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  (630): I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg http://tfl.nu/sw6a
  Replies (15) Good night (1271) Bad night (3920) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.

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  (412): girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid. http://tfl.nu/vm0r
  Replies (10) Good night (3442) Bad night (550) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.

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  (281): I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas. http://tfl.nu/8z68
  Replies (10) Good night (2860) Bad night (1824) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.

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  (937): i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage. http://tfl.nu/bqw6
  Replies (22) Good night (1728) Bad night (8368)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.

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  (785): I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol. http://tfl.nu/ketb
  Replies (11) Good night (3966) Bad night (1347) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.

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  (517): I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him. http://tfl.nu/gawh
  Replies (5) Good night (2728) Bad night (555) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working

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  (303): im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working http://tfl.nu/2ufm
  Replies (5) Good night (1323) Bad night (3558) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina

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  (573): Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina http://tfl.nu/35k1
  Replies (7) Good night (539) Bad night (2597) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour

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  (520): I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour http://tfl.nu/ht3n
  Replies (5) Good night (1857) Bad night (592) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Wheres my essay?

  (415): View more from California

  You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?

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  (410): Wheres my essay? (415): You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway? http://tfl.nu/m6g1
  Replies (8) Good night (800) Bad night (1987)
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  (+32): View more from Belgium

  It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched

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  (+32): It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched http://tfl.nu/cbi6
  Replies (3) Good night (825) Bad night (348) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Why do you think she gets more guys?

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that

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  (603): Why do you think she gets more guys? (1-603): well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that http://tfl.nu/1cti
  Replies (2) Good night (1406) Bad night (327)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30

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  (254): I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30 http://tfl.nu/3ama
  Replies (12) Good night (540) Bad night (2312) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.

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  (706): i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house. http://tfl.nu/5m3i
  Replies (1) Good night (391) Bad night (433) Order T-Shirt

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