I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover