would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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