Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
id be glad to
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
