You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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