apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
