Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
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I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
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I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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