Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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