OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
