we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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