He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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