sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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