i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize
