It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just puked most of my soul out..
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
