worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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