Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
