I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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