btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
