Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
