every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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