Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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