I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
