remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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