TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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