I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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