We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
