Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
