Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
