WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
then he tried to convert me to islam
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
