The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
