we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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