It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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