Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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